• Nicholas C.


I Bear down. I really can’t watch any other team. It sucks because there are really so many other better teams out there. Better players. But I don’t get the same feeling. It’s fucking weird and unwarranted and sometimes I just wish it would stop. I gotta see that Patrick deal and Rodgers price every time I turn on the tv. Brady eating sandwiches and shit. “That boy good, he real good,” like, Sexual Chocolate. Stomp your feet and

drop the mic. But, NO, I like watching some player I’ve never heard of catching touchdowns wearing that same uniform from the Sweetness days. It’s like watching the Cubs in September. “Who the fuck is THAT guy?” Same Uniform, Different Boots. And let’s all face the fact; that’s what this whole season was, No Roquan, No Hicks,

Montgomery, Fields, No Dalton, No miniature rocket ship all season, No Ex-Superbowl MVP. Wait what? Yeah. No MACK, No Secondary that can tackle. O-line, oh shit?! Even no Nagy sometimes. But it’s your team. MY team. Our team, No?

I know, I know, I’m a self-proclaimed AND acclaimed worst Bears fan of all time, but still, I can’t help it. I’m just an incredibly gifted Armchair Quarterback and Laz-Y-Boy Play Caller. Mad skills. Love Da Bears. But don’t get me wrong, I like watching good football, I just don’t get the same feeling from watching other teams as I do from watching the Bears get their asses kicked. It’s like an art form and I love it. Makes me put my thumb, index and middle finger together bring it to my lips and loudly give them all a big fat kiss. You try it. They’ve been giving me that feeling every week of my life since I started watching them in 1983, almost 40 years ago... And then you hear the stats of these guys they got playing nowadays and it’s confusing Af! You see Robert Quinn is

breaking records, Bears are the 5th best run team, Montgomery (who I like) got the most Yards After Contact of any player in the league right now. I don’t know if that’s a real stat , I’m just saying, every time I’m watching and he’s playing he’s bowling someone over. A la Sweetness style ironically. Same Dude, Different Boots. Imagine if he had a badass O-line. Hmmmmmm... (Insert black dude with a great mustache, a huge grin and pointing at his head meme here) Roquan when he’s playing? All over the place, tackling everyone. The rookies are good too. They’ve had some great plays. Everybody when they’re playing, they’re good. That’s why I Bear Down too. We blame others too much in life, the coach, the quarterback, the officials or your parents, everybody but ourselves. Or maybe even the right guys... Like why does the one dude take the ball out of the back of the endzone all the time? Like he’s gotten to the 25 or more maybe 5 times. ALL YEAR. Or every time a player drops a pass or gets injured or those “Challenges”... Or Or Or...

I don’t blame Nagy, really. I mean 12-4, DOINK, 8-8, 8-8 and then sub par this year. That’s total horseshit, I get it. But there’s a lot to deal with man. A LOT! Here, he doesn’t have the same people. Those other teams... They got the same guys, studs. And the team he inherited??? YIKES! Check out those records. Come on!?! Bear Down!!! Even the coaches he's had or has, I mean, they’re OH KAY. Meh. They’re young.

I don’t know I’m not a fan of some of the crazy-ass moves the organization has made but you never know what’s going to happen. ACLs, MCLs, No skills, No this, no that. DOINK! I think they should still have a chance to try and build, I mean it’s been what 3-4 years? 2 crazy weird ones with pandemics and Brady? Hey even Green Bay’s last Championship was more than 10 years ago. Come on! Bear Down too... Let’s see what happens at the end of the year. (Another weird one, with an extra game) A completely useless 17 games. Some teams shouldn’t play if it don’t matter. Stay out the “record books.” But what do I care. I just like to watch the Bears and the no names score touchdowns. And I hope they don’t play Justin Fields. And I kinda hope Quinn don’t get

4 or 5 sacks either. I’ll be back to talk about that and other jibber jabber hog wash arm chair lazy boy rambling of drunk uncle lingo in next week’s edition of BEAR DOWN, “BEAR 3rd DOWN.”

Let’s get weird. And BEAR DOWN TOO.

-Nicholas Conlon

Chicago KO

Mouf Jury

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